I Hate Fakeness!!

If you crave authenticity as you get older, you’re not alone.

Maybe my midlife bullshit-o-meter is in overdrive, but I can’t take the fakeness as I get older. I crave realness. The older I get, the lower my tolerance for fake EVERYTHING!

I don’t like fake people, fake friends, fake pictures, fake promises, and fake content.

The list could probably go on and on. If you’re like me, rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you. You’ve probably lived and seen enough bullshit in life that you’ve also had enough.

Half the time, I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake anymore.

Am I reading a real story, am I admiring a real picture, am I listening to a real person? It’s scary, and I’m not ashamed to say it.

Three weeks ago, I wrote a post addressing the growing decline of authentic content on Substack. The post went viral, and the overwhelming response made me want to dig deeper to understand why it resonated with so many people.

Photo by janilson furtado on Unsplash

For someone in their 50’s, we’ve lived through it all. The first eight tracks, cassette tapes, CD players, VCRs, DVRs, finally iPods, and streaming services. Then came the explosion of the internet. To say it’s an evolution is an understatement. Yet those technologies evolved over decades. We had time to adapt, understand, and accept.

Today’s world with AI has taken over by storm, and I’m not against it, but I feel like it’s being shoved down my throat faster than I can swallow, let alone digest. If you feel like this, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t make you “resistant to change” either. It’s just a lot to take in, in a very short timeframe. Many of us are ashamed to admit that, because it makes us feel like we’re “old people” who don’t embrace change. I find that each day, there’s a more advanced AI, pushing us further and further away from human creativity.

I’ve found myself craving the old, nostalgic things. I want the safety of an easier time; I want simplicity. I’m tired of algorithms and the need to be increasingly perfect.

I’m going back to comfort shows and even to eras that existed before me. I’m so obsessed with Mad Men that I’m a sheath dress and an updo away from morphing into a woman of the nineteen sixties.

Girls currently in their twenties have taken up a fascination with Carolyn Bissette-Kennedy and her nineties fashion. The new buzzword on social media is analog trend. Handwritten lists, hand-embroidered trinkets, landline telephones, and EarPods with wires. These trendy things were once a way of life for us, and now they’re in demand.

So, what does this pattern tell us about ourselves?

Regardless of age, we all look to past eras for comfort, hoping to find a reminder of a time when we felt safe and knew the outcome.

Those episodes of Mad Men remind me of a moment in time when life seemed glamorous. In essence, it was probably more fucked up then, than it is now. But people gave the illusion that things were perfect. Who knows if in twenty years, our children will be wishing for this moment in time?

Authenticity provides us with that same lens. Because when things are authentic in our mind, we don’t feel the raw effects of the outside world. We feel the comfort and stability we seek. When we make a connection with someone, we feel a bond because they can identify with our feelings.

Another aspect of authenticity is that it forces us to be honest with ourselves. When we lose that, everything else is gone.

A lot of things in life cost money, but the qualities that make us real, well, those are free.

Self-respect.
Dignity.
Honesty.

These are traits to be cherished and held dear.

When someone engages in disingenuous behavior, it alters our beliefs. It makes us question what and who we are. So perhaps this is the answer to my question.

When I’m lied to, I feel hurt. I feel betrayed.

I’m the type of person who will always trust until you give me a reason not to trust you. I’m open, and I wear my feelings on my sleeve. I’ve never been able to hold a poker face. I don’t like fake behavior, and I’m sure I sucked at playing corporate politics. In the past, I was told that these are things I need to work on.

Well, now I give that notion the middle finger!

I am not apologizing, and neither should you. After years of playing the game, I no longer want to participate. Finding your voice and writing or speaking your truth is freeing. It sheds versions of you that no longer exist.

This is my stage in life.

I’m always going to be real, and if you don’t like me, no one is forcing you to stay.

Life is too short to play games that bring you no joy.

So do yourself a favor, skip that dinner that you’re agonizing over, make plans that make you genuinely excited.

Keep it real.

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